Gaussian Blur

This is yet another random observation which I have collected about myself, one which I have been able to embrace and appreciate....

Being the person that I am I am always thinking... I love to experience life and all it has to offer, but there is a part of me always analyzing... looking for the details of the moment. I used to feel this put me apart from others as they never remembered the details of the day or moment (as I did). I have since realized that for me it is a strong desire to imprint each moment into my life... to not let a minute go by which isnt remembered. This is especially true when it comes to my interactions with others... I'm not satisfied to simply and mindlessly move through these interaction as if they mean nothing, l am looking for a visual (typically) to archive and store for easy access and refrence. Perhaps this is why I paint, perhaps its why I notice the details of texture and depth of tone when I look out my window now, Im' not sure. I can say that this need to remember used to bother me, there was part of me that felt that because I was always looking to experience and remember and notice it meant that my time was short and I felt I needed to gather all I could while I was here. As I have aged and mellowed I see that that is no longer a fear for me... I'm not ready to go... I have a lot of work left to do on myself, but it has freed me to be able to embrace this trait of myself with out the fear of what it may or may not mean. I will continue to burn the minutes of my life into my existance and will not let the allure of a gaussian blur wipe the details from my days.... My life was meant to be lived and I am not one to be satisfied by merely existing.

I'll continue through my days and night thankful for them and knowing that although each moment passes into the next I will have a piece of it with me always...

Take care.. know you are thought of and be 'good'.

Hugs,

Renny